Self-Reflection – Who are you?

The desire in itself that the human is no longer an egoist.

Let´s bring Self-reflection back to your mind. To begin with the explanation. Self-Reflection means to think about yourself moreover to analyze how you felt, you act, or you thought in a situation. It has the goal to learn more about yourself also at the end to be a better self. Besides that, it is possible to be more aware of the own skills, to avoid self-under,- and overestimation.

My story about self-reflection:

In 2016, I began to learn with Self-Reflection to not make the same mistakes again or actually to try to make less mistakes twice. That was the time when I´ve started my first leading position. I had a great team, but when we were overloaded with work I struggled with my nerves as a result. Once instead of explaining why the employee should not use the mobile phone I just told her not to use it. The situation has overwhelmed me. Of course the employee and me were both frustrated. This was one of the key situations where I knew I need to change something.

However, I began with reflecting for business reasons. Nonetheless, I do it also in my private life when having an argument or a special situation. It´s a deep dive in your personality and psychology. I guess either reflecting a situation to learn out of it, or bringing back in your mind what was positive to stay motivated are the most common methods.

Are you sometimes in a stressed situation additionally you act out from affect? Your colleague seems not satisfied with your answer or reaction. Next you go out of the situation with a bad feeling? Maybe you´re not motivated, and you want to change something?

Relief: Some tips to self-reflect

Silence

Go into a silent room, or into the forest. Take a rest and additionally gain some distance. Self-reflection will not work during meetings or a concert visit.

Time

Give yourself some time, in other words take a moment to completely reflect the situation. It is not enough to just go back into the situation and to realize that something was wrong. You need to find the reason, the root cause.

Honesty

If you do not reflect the situation truthfully, then you are lying to yourself. As a matter of fact, you’ll not learn out of the situation.

Seriousness

Sometimes a situation seems silly for you or the fact to go back to this situation in your mind. Take yourself and the situation seriously, anyway it has his its justification.

Routine

The more often you self-reflect, the better you get to know yourself. Get used to it besides take regularly time, so you won’t forget to get through the past situations.

Grace

You don’t have to curse or punish yourself for what happened. The goal is not to put your bad self in front of you. Get over it moreover accept what was in the past. Take self-reflection as a gift and learn to improve for the next time.

Five-finger method:

Besides methods like meditation and/ or going back into the situation like a third person I would like to explain to you the five-finger method. Every finger stands for a different situation additional you need to ask yourself the question to self-reflect. You can write it down or answer them in your mind.

• Thumb: “Thumb up” says everything. It stands for everything what is good. What do you like in a situation, or what do you like overall in your life?
• Index finger: The index finger stands for everything what you’ve learned. Sometimes we rush so much that we forget to be proud of ourselves what we already learned and improved. What have you learned today or the last week?
• Middle finger: Also the middle finger has its international meaning. You can ask yourself what went wrong, what annoyed you, or what made you angry?
• Ring finger: This finger stands for relationship and in the same way the question: “How does it work with your relation with your colleagues, your friends or your family.” You can think about what needs to be changed.
• Small finger: It is shorter than the other fingers that’s why you can ask yourself “What came up to short?”. While working too much you’re not able to spend some time with your family? Don’t forget your work-life balance would be the conclusion out of this example.

No matter what you said or what you did wrong, learn out of it and get over it. No one is perfect. Try to keep the good moments in your mind and be thankful for what you are and what you have.